yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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