That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Randomize
