I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize