we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
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