Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
Send help, water and tortillas.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Randomize
