she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Randomize
