I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
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