I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
