Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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