Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
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