p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
nutella sex= disaster
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
