Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Randomize
