i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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