ya dads aren't the best wingmen
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
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