I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
Randomize
