yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
