12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
