i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Randomize
