You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
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I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
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I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize