You're completely useless in the revolution.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
I just bought a large Pizza and Xanex in the same store...my night is complete
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Randomize
