Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
