shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Blood and glitter go together right?
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Randomize
