I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Randomize
