i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
