office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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