I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
Ugh. He got her for secret santa. Idk what to get. Idk what she's into.
... other people's boyfriends.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Randomize
