how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize