He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
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