So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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