Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
