She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
