I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Randomize
