I need to stop coming to work sober
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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