The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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