Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
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