Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
You are a genius and a whore.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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