Texts From Last Night

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  (561): View more from Florida

  he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.

  (1-561): View more from Florida

  you for real need to get over him dude

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  (561): he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore. (1-561): you for real need to get over him dude http://tfl.nu/fa43
  Replies (52) Good night (1035) Bad night (3279)
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  (678): View more from Georgia

  I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.

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  (678): I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job. http://tfl.nu/y0of
  Replies (13) Good night (985) Bad night (3357)
• Favorite

  (325): View more from Texas

  When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous

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  (325): When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous http://tfl.nu/im9q
  Replies (26) Good night (944) Bad night (4508)
• Favorite

  (540): View more from Virginia

  just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping

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  (540): just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping http://tfl.nu/3wqg
  Replies (18) Good night (4939) Bad night (994)
• Favorite

  (760): View more from California

  Why is your vibrator in the fridge?

  (1-760): View more from California

  I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.

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  (760): Why is your vibrator in the fridge? (1-760): I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there. http://tfl.nu/7etk
  Replies (40) Good night (7037) Bad night (1458)
• Favorite

  (914): View more from New York

  This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.

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  (914): This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive. http://tfl.nu/c66s
  Replies (11) Good night (1143) Bad night (4046)
• Favorite

  (517): View more from Michigan

  Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.

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  (517): Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise. http://tfl.nu/o3um
  Replies (12) Good night (3531) Bad night (1034)
• Favorite

  (850): View more from Florida

  Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"

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  (850): Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere" http://tfl.nu/ju0a
  Replies (9) Good night (3506) Bad night (989)
• Favorite

  (630): View more from Illinois

  I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember

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  (630): I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember http://tfl.nu/77e3
  Replies (1) Good night (662) Bad night (520)
• Favorite

  (517): View more from Michigan

  Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.

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  (517): Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now. http://tfl.nu/rvro
  Replies (4) Good night (476) Bad night (911)
• Favorite

  (706): View more from Georgia

  I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.

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  (706): I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons. http://tfl.nu/pd60
  Replies (4) Good night (956) Bad night (384)
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  (712): View more from Iowa

  I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.

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  (712): I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair. http://tfl.nu/sv3u
  Replies (1) Good night (442) Bad night (676)
• Favorite

  (619): View more from California

  You in for a dick vacation?

  (1-619): View more from California

  YES, even though I have no idea what that means

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  (619): You in for a dick vacation? (1-619): YES, even though I have no idea what that means http://tfl.nu/ak79
  Replies (4) Good night (734) Bad night (259)
• Favorite

  (740): View more from Ohio

  We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level

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  (740): We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level http://tfl.nu/ikay
  Replies (2) Good night (425) Bad night (223)
• Favorite

  (914): View more from New York

  nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life

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  (914): nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life http://tfl.nu/b2dk
  Replies (1) Good night (497) Bad night (214)

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