I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
21 Porn Stars Confess What Sex Is Really Like On Set
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
19 People That Found Pubes In All The Wrong Places
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?