Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
29 Of The Most Hilarious And Embarrassing Walks Of Shame Ever
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
These 23 Dudes Get Giddy From Dem Titties
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life