He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
These 19 Deaths Are Ironically Hilarious
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
These 17 Parents Decided to Cut Contact With Their Horrible Kids
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.