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• (407): View more from Florida

  He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances

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• (813): View more from Florida

  Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida

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• (707): View more from California

  I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.

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• (804): View more from Virginia

  Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?

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  These 19 Deaths Are Ironically Hilarious

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• (361): View more from Texas

  like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan

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• (609): View more from New Jersey

  I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.

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• (732): View more from New Jersey

  While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.

  (732): View more from New Jersey

  You said you were "testing the product for Chris."

  (848): View more from New Jersey

  I'm a bad man.

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• (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.

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• (440): View more from Ohio

  Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!

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  These 17 Parents Decided to Cut Contact With Their Horrible Kids

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• (410): View more from Maryland

  Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!

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• (602): View more from Arizona

  Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times

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• (315): View more from New York

  ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach

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• (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer

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• (401): View more from Rhode Island

  I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.

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• (419): View more from Ohio

  You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.

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