Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I went to bed early to get up and have a cup of coffee and watch a Sunday sunrise; and again you come home with no shirt and more stamps than my passport. Get the fuck up now, you are taking an Uber to waffle house. The order is in you name.
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