you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Randomize
