There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
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