My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
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My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
I look excited, but its just a facade.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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