so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Randomize
