as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Randomize
