like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
Randomize
