Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
