I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
That was an excessively violent trivia night
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I asked you for a cigarette and you handed me your phone and told me to search for one
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
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