oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
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