just tell him i said nine months
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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