Cold hands, warm shart.
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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