Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Randomize
