hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
