i think my mom watched the whole time
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
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Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
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Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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