I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Houston, we have a blender
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Randomize
