You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize