I think i peed on brittanys purse
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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