The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Randomize
