Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
