Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
