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• (440): View more from Ohio

  wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant

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• (703): View more from Virginia

  i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!

  (804): View more from Virginia

  Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!

  (703): View more from Virginia

  well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.

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• (315): View more from New York

  They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.

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• (905): View more from Ontario

  He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night

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  The 21 Worst Ways People Have Been Dumped

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• (860): View more from Connecticut

  Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.

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• (253): View more from Washington

  Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.

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• (865): View more from Tennessee

  I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?

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• (920): View more from Wisconsin

  I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3

  (906): View more from Michigan

  Omg sara

  (920): View more from Wisconsin

  I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty

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• (734): View more from Michigan

  Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.

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• 

  19 People Confess The Worst Things They Have Been Accused Of

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• (425): View more from Washington

  The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.

  (541): View more from Oregon

  Mole people?

  (425): View more from Washington

  Mole people

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• (919): View more from North Carolina

  sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"

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• (703): View more from Virginia

  I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.

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• (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too

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• (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.

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• (210): View more from Texas

  what is considered shitting yourself?

  (1-210): View more from Texas

  Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.

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