Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
