Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(217): View more from Illinois

if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life

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(217): if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life http://tfl.nu/29yn

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b

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(215): i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b http://tfl.nu/ogbj

Replies (47) Good night (2463) Bad night (6512)
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(512): View more from Texas

After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.

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(512): After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game. http://tfl.nu/rksq

Replies (8) Good night (3615) Bad night (1230)
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(702): View more from Nevada

Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm

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(702): Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm http://tfl.nu/d1by

Replies (1) Good night (2170) Bad night (773)
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(586): View more from Michigan

hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink

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(586): hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink http://tfl.nu/wrew

Replies (4) Good night (2257) Bad night (1219)
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(586): View more from Michigan

I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.

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(586): I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup. http://tfl.nu/qqt4

Replies (4) Good night (1328) Bad night (1197)
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(380): View more from Ohio

She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time

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(380): She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time http://tfl.nu/cp8c

Replies (5) Good night (1303) Bad night (2725)
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(512): View more from Texas

Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.

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(512): Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom. http://tfl.nu/t8hh

Replies (13) Good night (750) Bad night (2197)
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(608): View more from Wisconsin

So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea

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(608): So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea http://tfl.nu/i0d0

Replies (2) Good night (324) Bad night (799)
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(210): View more from Texas

Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.

(682): View more from Texas

Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.

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(210): Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that. (682): Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude. http://tfl.nu/g9al

Replies (2) Good night (771) Bad night (1094)
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(860): View more from Connecticut

I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.

(860): View more from Connecticut

My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.

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(860): I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs. (860): My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie. http://tfl.nu/2uqc

Replies (4) Good night (504) Bad night (1027)
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(613): View more from Ontario

You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.

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(613): You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse. http://tfl.nu/8ufz

Replies (4) Good night (787) Bad night (378)
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(952): View more from Minnesota

Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis

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(952): Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis http://tfl.nu/o9uq

Replies (1) Good night (420) Bad night (290)
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(330): View more from Ohio

That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.

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(330): That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole. http://tfl.nu/us0b

Replies (3) Good night (284) Bad night (638)
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(765): View more from Indiana

A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase

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(765): A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase http://tfl.nu/vp0d

Replies (2) Good night (332) Bad night (260)

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