i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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