just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
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Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
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The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy