dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
17 Subtle Body Language Signs That Reveal A Lot About Someone
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
These 21 Declassified Government Horrors Are Unimaginable
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes