hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
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