At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
