So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
