o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
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