I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
Randomize
