Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Randomize
