I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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