so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
