Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
